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Being Sawyer Knight by Nicola Haken Blog Tour & Giveaway

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As lead singer and guitarist of the internationally renowned Souls of the Knight, Sawyer Knight is living a life most men can only dream of. He’s surrounded by music, fame, wealth, women throwing themselves at his feet. He has everything…

Yet he has nothing.

Life as one of the world’s most sought after rock stars is tiring, oppressive and lonely. He spends every day being who the world wants him to be, who his manager tells him to be, who his mother expects him to be… all the while fighting against who he really is. Truth is, he’s used to it. He’s actually gotten pretty good at pretending… at living the lie.

Until Jake Reed, his ex-best friend and the only person who’s ever made him ‘feel’, waltzes back into his life as the band’s new head of security. Jake wants Sawyer – always has, always will. Now, he just needs to get Sawyer to admit that he feels the same…

“You will be mine, Sawyer Knight. The faster you try to run the quicker you’ll fall to your knees. Then, Sawyer… then you’ll be too weak to resist.”

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Unable to hold back any longer, I started undoing the knot in his robe, teasing it open with deft fingers and pushing the towelling fabric open so it draped behind him on the bed.

“So fucking perfect,” I moaned into his mouth, trailing my fingertips along the hard ridges of muscle cocooning his chest, tracing the outlines of what can only be described as exquisite pieces of artwork decorating his skin. Slowly, I worked my way down to his semi-erect cock, curling my fingers around it and smiling as it hardened instantly at my touch.

“No,” Sawyer interjected, grabbing my hand and pulling it up to his chest. “I…I want to touch you this time.”

Sighing in anticipation, I opened my robe and shuffled out of it, tossing it to the floor behind me. Sawyer did the same before bringing his naked body close to mine, pressing our chests together. Placing his hands on my torso, he closed his eyes and let out a heavy, almost pained sigh.

“What’s wrong?” I asked gently, wrapping my hand around his and encouraging him to smooth it across my chest.

“I, um, well I’ve never… touched a man this way before,” he admitted, his eyes sweeping the mattress in embarrassment.

“You’ve never experimented before?”

“There were a couple of guys in college,” he confessed, shrugging. “But… they touched me – never the other way round. To touch them would’ve felt too…” he trailed off, unable to find the word.


“Something like that.”

“Are you saying no one has ever been here?” I asked, sneaking my hand between his pressed together thighs, encouraging him to part them before circling his puckered rim with the tip of my finger. He shook his head, refusing eye-contact with me. I grinned devilishly at him, and then buried my face in his neck. “I will be going there, baby. Not yet. Not tonight. But soon.”




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Jen's review

3.5 stars

I was so excited when I finally got my hands on this, I had to jump right in. The prologue had me consumed and wanting to see this story through. The premise of 2 boys being best friends turned lovers is always a winner for me and throw in the fact that one of them is a rock star well that equals win win right? Because who doesn’t love a rock star? As I continued on there were a few things that didn’t work for me. On one hand I was completely invested but I found myself rolling my eyes, or even not liking MC at times. There were times where he just completely drove me nuts. This guy is so far in the closet and so deep in denial about who he really is. And honestly I hate that he felt like he had to live like that. But, let me be honest here, because he is living a lie, Sawyer has become quite a bit of an ass.


Sawyer and Jake were tied at the hip when they were teenagers. Jake ends up having to move away when they are 17 years old but before he leaves he tells Sawyer how he really feels about him. He loves him and has since the day they met. Sawyer is taken back when Jake kisses him but his disgust doesn’t come from the kiss but how his body reacts to it. He liked the kiss but when guilt and shame settle in that’s when he pushes Jake away and decides they are no longer friends.


10 years later, Sawyer is extremely confused when Jake comes back into his life. He fights what his body craves with what his mind thinks. He’s afraid of what will happen if he admits he’s gay. He’s doesn’t believe he’s gay even though his body betrays him every time Jake is near him. He even experimented back in college to convince himself that he was straight. Deciding that nothing a man did to him a woman couldn’t do for him. His struggle with sexuality is heightened. He’s afraid of what people will say, afraid his mother will disown him, lose everything he’s worked for if he goes down that road with Jake. Jake on the other hand is determined to bring out the real Sawyer. He won’t give up until he has the man he’s loved for over 10 years.


“Sawyer is hiding from the world. He’s hiding from himself. And I’m going to find him.”


“I’m back here because I was fucking miserable trying to live without you, and I owed it to both of us to return to you and try. If you knocked me back, at least I’d done all I could and I wouldn’t spend my life with regrets.”


“I will show him that love, no matter what gender they may be, and I will prove to him that he deserves to love and be loved”


Ok so when these two get together things really heat up. I have to give Nicola credit where credit is due. She definitely can write some smoking hot sex scenes. Panty melting HOT. I loved how sensual and romantic their love life became. I really loved them as a couple. I loved how Jake was determined to get Sawyer to admit how he really felt. Admit what Jake has always believed since that day he kissed him when they were boys. I love how Jake had Sawyers back no matter what. He was so patient and so loving towards Sawyer. Even when at times Sawyer was all about Sawyer.


There were a few things that bothered me while I was reading. Even though I loved them together, I found their relationship progressed too quickly. If it weren’t for the prologue it would have been to insta love for me. Even with all the guilt and shame Sawyer had going on it didn’t take him long to jump in bed with Jake. I really loved them together but I wish there would have been a courting period if you will. I would have loved to see more buildup to their reconciliation from old friends to lovers. A side from a few secondary characters I didn’t really feel a huge connection to the rest of the members of the band. The bond and closeness band members normally have was lost on me. I just didn’t get it. At least not until the end.


However with all that said, I have to say I really enjoyed the story. I really want to read more in this series because Nicola does write some amazing sex scenes but I’d like to get to know the band members a lot more. I think I’d understand their dynamics more reading their stories. If you are looking for a steamy love affair with some bumps in the road and a  little twist of suspense then this is one will be up right up your alley.


*I received a complimentary copy from the author/publisher in exchange for an honest review*


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Meet the Author

Nicola Haken

I’m a writer of New Adult, contemporary and m/m erotic romance. I’m a married mum of four (six if you include the dogs!) from the UK and can usually be found with a Kindle or MacBook in front of my face, or carrying out housewife/mother/all round slave duties. I’m a little bit mental and a whole lot of crazy with bordering on unhealthy addictions to tattoos, Pepsi Max and the CockyBoys! 😉

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